ENCOURAGING AND TRAINING KIDS TO BE INDEPENDENT
It’s 7:55 a.m. and my three-year-old is happily and very S-L-O-W-L-Y eating the pancakes he was adamant I make. I’m not happy, knowing that we need to get out of the door in 10 minutes.
I get stern.
He senses my impatience and stops eating altogether. “Fine if you don’t eat you’re going to school hungry,” I threaten.
“No mommy he screams!”
I angrily stuff a few bites of pancakes in his mouth quickly put on his socks, shoes and rush him into the car. Now we are both on edge and unhappy.
I know Ayaan can feed himself, but my blood pressure starts to spike watching his stalling shenanigans, and I often end up doing things for him to avoid being late.
So many of us use “parenting to just get through the day” approach. We try to control everything because things go faster and smoother. (or does it?)
“Habitually doing things for your child that they are capable of doing themselves sends an inadvertent message that you don’t have confidence in their abilities”
The outcome is a child who lacks independence, self-esteem and problem-solving skills and who can’t—or won’t—do age-appropriate tasks.
This is sometimes called “learned helplessness.” and we become a self-imposed overworked maid.
The constant nagging, rushing, reminding and micro-managing ends up leading to power struggles and fractured relationships with our kids.
Yes I know we are faster, better, neater so it’s just easier if I do everything but we strip them of their ability to learn healthy habits.
I can relate to this personally because as a former control freak, I’ve had to work on patience to teach my son life skills instead of just doing everything for him.
Kids don’t need a maid, however, they do need to feel confident, capable, self-sufficient and feel like they have control over some part of their life.
Which means less things on our plate! 💃🏽 #happydance
In this TejalTV episode, you’ll learn my tips to train your child to be more independent.
Ready to dive in?
Hit that sexy little play button below and watch now.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
- Start building a consistent routine with your kids in a fun way with the Octopus by Joy Watch…
- Here is an example of the Morning and Evening Routine Sheets I made for Ayaan. Make your own routine sheets on Canva.or you can download a copy of the ones I used for Ayu.
- Learn the less is more approach to raising respectful, responsible and resilient kids with Vicki Hoefle’s Duct Tape Parenting book.
YOUR NEXT STEPS:
- Want the step-by-step roadmap to raise the first generation of mindful, emotionally balanced kids? Learn everything you need here.
- I can help you solve the most your troubling parenting issues with mindful parenting. Learn more here about personal coaching here.
- Come join my FREE Mindful Mama FB group!
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A LITTLE NOTE FROM TEJAL
Thank you so very much for tuning into this TejalTV episode.
I know your time is precious mama and there are a LOT of blogs you could be tuning into, but you chose mine and I’m sooo grateful for that!
If you enjoyed this week’s episode, I’d love for you to take a quick minute and share your thoughts with me in the comments below. Share any questions, future topics you want on the show and I’d love to answer them.
Your comments is not only paramount in making sure I’m sharing content that serves you, but I also read each and every comment personally…and they mean the world to me.
So, thank you in advance!
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