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3 THINGS YOUR KIDS STRUGGLE WITH THE MOST

October 11th, 2016 | no comments

children struggle, divorce, depression, anxiety, nervousness, kids struggle, bullying, depressed, sad kids, happy children,

We adults aren’t the only ones who get distracted by our own thoughts are stressed out by things we can’t control and find it hard to manage our big feelings well.

Our children struggle with these issues too and we need to help them in learning skills and tools how to calmly and confidently deal with these challenges.

But we first gotta understand the struggles our children face.

All children are inherently good. they want to be good. Any behavior on their part that is inappropriate from an adults standards- is because there is something underlying that behavior that needs to be addressed. 

Here are 3 of the most common struggles our children face:

1.Stress

According to psychologist Richard Lazarus, stress, as experienced by children, is when they can’t handle what is happening.

So many life situations that may seem a normal part of childhood but can be stressful to kids like going to school for the first time, mean friends, fighting with siblings or moving back and forth between divorced parents homes.

And if you think about it much of their life is out of their control.

What can you do?

Giving children daily outlets to release stress is key. Some children need more physical activities like running outside or playing sports. Some are more introverts and need to color or write. Each child releases stress differently but one thing remains the same. All children should have an outlet to express their emotions out loud and talk about their feelings.

If your kids are too young to label and express their emotions out loud, take a moment to calm yourself and deeply tune into them by looking into their eyes. Ask your higher self “May I be able to guide my child in a way that is for his/her highest good” When your focus is meeting your child where they need you, instead of you figuring out for them what they need, kids naturally feel like you are on their side trying to help them not “fix” them.

2. Attention Difficulty

According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2014) more children are begin diagnosed with ADHD. No one knows what’s the real cause but nothing about our daily lives encouraged children to pay attention for any extended period of time.

We are rushing kids through their days, moving from one activity to the next that they don’t’ have free-time to simply be.

They stare at screens that change images every second, move from one website to the next without fully considering the information.

We tell our children to focus but our modern lives don’t teach them the tools to focus for an extended period of time.

What Can You Do?

To teach focus to ask your child to do the CALM method.

Have your child sit or lay down and close their eyes. You will guide them to pay attention to one particular area of their body at a time. You are simply guiding them through the exercise not making commentary on their answers.

You’ll tell them to focus on their Chest, Arms, Legs and then Mind. Ask how each one feels – heavy or light. What are they thinking? What color does their body feel like? You can really get creative with this and have fun. But the idea is to help them focus on one area of their body long enough to give you a thoughtful response.

3. Emotional Regulation 

Emotional regulations are the ability to fully feel emotions without immediately acting out or reacting the moment we feel them.

This is the greatest challenge for children.

Kids scream, hit, bite, throw things or do other problematic behaviors not because they are bad children. It’s because they don’t have the skills to learn how to calm themselves down.

Usually, their feelings cause us anxiety so we yell and scream to make them stop. And all that does is temporarily get them to stop. Until the next difficult feeling rolls through them and it all begins again.

The ability to recognize and manage emotions is a great skill that all children need to learn. Otherwise, we become adults unable to fully express our emotions or when we do we lash out in rage.

While some amount of difficulty managing big feelings is part of the normal development process there are ways of interacting with and responding to ur children that may help them avoid the meltdown at least help them settle down as soon as possible.

What can you do:

Start having the conversations about emotions and feelings with the use of the Peace Makers Game. This 42 deck card game is great for children ages 4+ to help them build emotional intelligence and learn how to label, recognize and honor their emotions.

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT PEACEMAKERS CARDS 

So now I’d love to hear from you.

Think about your own child and try to understand what is causing them to struggle in each area.  Share it with us below and let me know what action step you are going to take to help them work through it.

Thank you a million times over for joining us, sharing your voice and making this corner of the Internet one of the brightest, kindest and most fun.

XOXO

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