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HOW TO GET PEOPLE TO LISTEN (WITHOUT BEING PUSHY)

February 21st, 2017 | 3 comments

“Well, you know what, I didn’t help that pregnant woman take her luggage off the plane. She should have known better than to overstuff her bag and  expect someone else to carry it for her at the airport.”

I’m not sure if I was sensitive because it was coming from a man or because I know what it feels like to be a pregnant woman. A lot of it had to do with the lack of compassion for our fellow human beings. And the stark realization how often we judge people without knowing the full story.

Usually, when I hear statements I grossly disagree with knowing that the person has no inclination to change their opinion, I stay quiet, silently shake my head and pray for their clearer thinking.

But this time I unexpectedly EXPLODED with fury!

“I don’t know why you are making such a big deal about someone else’s choice. That’s fine if you didn’t want to help her out. There is someone else out there who will show more compassion and help her out.” The minute I said it I could feel my heart racing, face turn hot, steam was probably coming out of my ears and everyone at the dinner table stopped in their track.

Why did the always mindful, peace-loving, Kumbaya singing, let’s all just love each other Tejal erupt in a fiery anger?

I replayed that moment over and over again. “Why did this trigger my buttons? Could I have reacted differently? Would it been better to stay quiet?”

As a spiritual teacher, there is a level of self-analysis that goes into fixing your actions once you have acted out of character to your soul.

Sometimes it’s better to stay silent, and sometimes we have to use our voice. In a proper, persuasive and peaceful way.

Over months of pondering, I came to this wisdom of how to persuade others of your viewpoint, without being over-opinionated, blunt or with the energy to reform or reprimand others.

If you struggle with persuading others to see your point, without being pushy, this TejalTV episode is for you.

You’ll learn the art of persuasion so that you can get your spouse, child, friend or parent to see your point of view, without being blunt, brash or bitchy.

After you’ve watched the video, I want to hear from you. 

What are some tips and techniques you use to share your opinion in a respectful and non-attacking way? Share your wisdom with us below by sharing them in the comments. 

Use your voice to speak soul to soul not ego to ego. This is the key to having transformative breakthroughs and more persuasive conversations.

Rock your voice mama!

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3 people have commented
  1. This is my immediate family in a nut shell and the way I grew up, verbal altercations and constant challenging, while my extended family is the opposite and wouldn’t ever dare address a pink elephant in the room. It’s taken me most of my life [yikes] to unlearn and rewire some thought processes but I can easily go back to that hot response, steam out my ears and red face [which makes me have a red face to even say]. Practice , practice, practice. But persuasion is usually out of the listening wave length for many of these people in my experience. Sometimes cool, calm and collected illicit an irritated response from the ‘aggressor’. I’d love to hear more about this topic and ways to practice. It is my goal to raise my daughter to speak freely, comfortably, with confidence and be able to support her argument, but equally as importantly, to listen. Especially not to have that hot immediate response.

    • This is certainly a powerful practice. I find that my standard of understanding when to speak is if I’m trying to be right, reform or reprimand then it’s not the highest intention to speak.

      Speaking is needed when we share the truth and not just our opinion. That’s been such a powerful tool. Speak respectfully or stay silent until you are ready to speak.

  2. Thanks Tejal for this truthful and helpful reminder. Seven years ago I entered a new life aka marriage which came along with many different perspectives, values and background. Growing up, I’ve been taught and have practiced the wonderful teachings of Jainism and Buddhism to do no harm unto others, to always think positive, to help others, to stay in control of our own feelings and thoughts, and most importantly to remind ourselves that we are peaceful souls. Of course this practice has been extremely difficult to apply when my peace has been constantly shaken up by strong negative external factors that I never knew existed. Trying to stay calm and get my positive light back admist these chaos and darkness has been extremely hard. I find that being out in nature or being with my son where the presence of laughter, beauty and life surround me, is what helps stay peaceful. It’s so hard not to want to fight back or stand up for what is right, but as you’ve said in your video, if someone is not willing to hear with an open mind or is not in the place to receive the positive energy, then it’s a waste of time. I practice silence, involve myself in more charitable events where giving back feeds my positive fuel and surround myself with other positive souls. Finding the right environment for your soul to grow in, I find is key. 🙏🏽

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