A few years ago, I changed my role as a practicing attorney to small business owner of a banquet facility called The Washington and become a life coach. Though I have attended events, planned parties and dined at restaurants, this is my first experience managing a catering and event planning business.
Providing impeccable service and food is the foundation of our business. No matter what our intentions, if we didn’t have a server team that followed our philosophy, our vision wouldn’t be carried through. I spent a lot of time building a server team who fits with our philosophy of providing, kind, courteous and helpful service to our guests. This was no easy task.
During some of the events, I was appalled to see how some of my best servers were treated by the guests. Orders were barked at them, no please or thank you’s and I heard some people make rude comments based on how my servers looked.
My servers are mothers, fathers, teachers, business owners, or college graduates struggling to find a job in this economy. A lot of them have full time jobs and do this for extra cash. Some of them are people who we personally know, who have full-time careers, but help us in a bind when we are short staffed. At their regular jobs, they aren’t treated as poorly.
Watching hardworking and kind people being treated in a rude manner had me question…
What happened to simple and kind human connections?
We talk on our cell-phone when placing an order at our coffee shop or fast food joint. It’s as if we don’t have five seconds to give the person servicing us our undivided attention. We don’t make eye contact with cashiers, bellboys or servers. We allow our children to talk down to the receptionist or secretary but talk with the utmost professionalism with the doctor/boss. We don’t even feel comfortable smiling and sparking a conversation with the person living in your apartment building.
How did we become a society that associates a person’s worth based on the job they have, how much money they make or how they look?
After seeing how my staff was being treated, it opened my eyes on how I have been disconnected and judging those around me. I made a conscious effort to wake up each morning with the mission to spread love and kindness to all those I meet.
Here are 5 ways to make genuine connections with other human beings.
1. Remember the manners your MAMa taught you
When someone is providing you a service or is helping you, don’t forget your manners. Make sure you are giving them your undivided attention at that moment, actively listen and remember those please and thank you!
2. Look everyone in the eyes when you speak to them
We need to stop dehumanizing people and take a moment to look them in the eyes when interacting with them. You may realize how many of us feel uncomfortable looking others in the eyes.
The eyes are the windows of the soul. It is hard to judge someone based on external factors like their job and how they look if we are focusing on their eyes and the radiance and life that shines through. We can connect to people on a whole new level when we appreciate that we are all equal not superior or inferior to anyone.
3. If you appreciated what someone did for you, let them know
If you appreciate someone’s service or kindness, make it your intention to tell them. If your server did a remarkable job give them a good tip AND tell their manager. So many times we take for granted when someone does something nice for us or they go above and beyond what they should do. Go beyond the “Thank You” and really express how their actions made you feel. Knowing you made an impression on someone makes that person want to continue to be kind. By you acknowledging their positive qualities you’ll feel amazing and want to be a better person as well. It will begin a circle of kindness and spreading love!
4. If someone gives bad service, don’t react with negativity, stay calm
Its easy to be kind to people who are nice to you. The real challenge comes when people are rude and give you bad service. When dealing with a bitter person ask:
If you knew what someone was going through in their life would you treat them differently?
We don’t know what’s happening in others life for them to react the way they do. Don’t take the rudeness of others personally. Their actions has everything to do with their own unhappiness which they are projecting to others. There were days that you weren’t having the best day and might have treated people poorly. Don’t justify your poor behavior based on how someone else reacts. The most difficult people need the most kindness to break their pain. Be compassionate to someone who you don’t think deserves it. Not only will you help them, your peace of mind and compassion grows with each kind act.
5. Learn to say hi and smile at strangers
You would be surprised how much it warms your heart to receive a kind smile from an unknown person. It’s almost as good as getting attention from the person you have a crush on. You feel connected and one with them at that moment. You share that moment with someone you don’t know.
We tend to be caught in our mind, look down and pretend not to see others. Look up, smile and embrace the people passing you by. I’ve had some pretty amazing moments with strangers by simply feeling their warmth and smile of their kind hello. It does marvels for your day and helps you grow the feeling of connections with others.
My experience of owning a banquet hall opened my eyes to the importance of connecting not only with your family and friends, but also strangers and people serving you. Whether we know someone for 30 seconds or 70 years, make an effort to kindly and compassionately connect to every person who is present in your life.
I would love to know when was the last time you did something spontaneously…
When was the last time you spoke to a stranger?
Join the conversation in the comment section below.
With all my love,
{Originally posted on – Purpose Fairy}
I love this article Tejal! The last time I spoke with someone in public was 2 days ago at the grocery store. I was talking to another mom in-line and the cashier. I always ask how they are doing and strike up a convo. I wasn’t always this way. My hubby inspired me. He is always connecting with people and I’ve seen how wonderful something small as this can provide you and others. He has meet so many wonderful people and some of his closest friends and business connections have been made through chance meetings by just saying hi.
So glad you loved it Susan!! I love how you reach out to other people by making small talk. Thank you so much for sharing your story! Definitely keep sharing it so other mamas can use your example to create that same kind of change in their life!! It’s funny I didn’t used to do that either but then my hubby also brought it out in me. He would talk to homeless people and I wish I could do that. So now whoever I meet I smile and say hello if nothing at all. So happy to connect with you mama!! xoxo
As usual, I loved this article! Much like Susan said above about her hubby, my boyfriend has inspired me to break out of my shy and introverted shell and talk to people at wawa, the grocery store, the gas station, and at the hospital I work at.
I try to do it every single day, especially at work. Yesterday, on my way in to work, I saw a woman with beautiful earrings. And I told her just that. Turns out she made them. So a simple compliment on her earrings also complimented her artistic ability. Double score!
This morning at wawa, I happened to get in the new cashier’s line. It was as busy at it always is and you could tell she was overwhelmed and stressed out. I simply smiled at her and said ‘just breathe’ while sending her all the most peaceful energy I could muster. I watched her relax even just a bit.
You are so absolutely spot on–we are here to spread love and kindness, not continue to be self-absorbed. Thank you for spreading love and kindness in everything you do!
I could definitely see you chatting up with strangers. You have such a beautiful energy to you! Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful thoughts and words!!