LET GO OF BEING THE IDEAL PARENT

How often does the thought “ I should or shouldn’t  be doing _________.” come into your mind?

I should be less irritable and more calm.

I should be cooking more healthy foods.

I should be spending more time doing something creative with the kids. 

I should be working out more. 

Indeed we should do what we can to improve our lives and the lives of others. Yet most of the time “should” is a red flag.

It’s a warning that we are putting our attention into a mental mirage we’ve created that doesn’t always match our current reality.

We don’t even realize that the cause of our inner strife, lack of peace and expectation stems from thoughts of how we perceive something should be.

Today, we’re going to put a cork in our “should’s” and check our great (unrealistic) expectations at the door.

If you’re ready to let go of the irksome “should’s and should nots” you impose on yourself and others…

Read this blog now. 

Not only will you gain a fresh perspective to become aware of the silent expections you hold for yourself and those around you, but you’ll also learn how to start being more gentle on yourself by trusting you are doing the very best you can in any given moment.

We all have an inner mean mama constantly criticizing, berating and judging us for not being good enough. Some of us repress it hoping it goes away. Some of us indulge it and try to pacify it. We plea, defend and debate with it.

We spend a fair amount of energy trying to convince that this judgmental voice is wrong, but we get nowhere. Just further entrapped in it’s web of guilt, shame and negativity.

But here is the paradox. Logic alone can’t solve why we are down on ourselves or why we are better than that Inner Mean Mama would have us believe. The truth is, over-analyzing our own worth, skills and abilities as mamas doesn’t influence the irrational mama voice.

The true method is recognizing it for what it is. A mental habit that only has power over us if we fuel it. So it’s time to cut off the fuel source.

When you notice your mind resisting the moment, become aware of what it expects instead. What is the “should” or “should not” it’s focusing on.

Instead of trying to pacify it say ” Thanks anyway. That’s judgment and I’m not indulging you today.”

Acknowledge the feeling and make the choice not to partake in it’s craziness.

Our thoughts and images of what an ideal mama should and should be doing get in the way of just being the best we can be in any given moment. And being the best in any moment is all we have control over.

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Practice Tips

Notice, do you actually have influence over this decision or is it out of your control. ( Yelling, nagging and berating others is NOT the right way to influence the decision.)

• Instead of indulging the SHOULD thought, repeat “I accept this moment as it is.” By accepting the moment it isn’t a sign of failure or defeat. It’s of acknowledgment and trusting that the divines plan (though not always pleasant) is always for your highest good.

Notice if something is actually under your influence set solid intentions of your plan of action.

• For example if your kids watch the iPad when they are eating dinner and they are completely mind-less when eating, set an intention “I’m going to try to schedule more family meals.” or ” “I will sit with my children and have a conversation about their day while they eat.”[/infobox]

Now, I turn this over to you. In the comments below, tell me:

What specific “Should” or “Should not” is holding you back from being the best you can be in this moment?

Your honest, most truthful answer to this question will help you release expectations holding you back from being your true, authentic self.

Let yourself off the hook. Life is always about doing your best. Sure you’ll make mistakes but approach it from the mindset of learning your lesson. Because when you know better, you can do better… That’s how we expand our conscious, heal our soul and evolve to the best person we can be.

In your comment, share as much detail as you can. Because thousands of incredible mamas come here each week for insight and inspiration, and your story may be the exact spark someone else needs.

Enormous thanks for sharing your voice and making Hump Day one of the brightest, most beautiful days the week!

With all my love,