Boundaries with family members is a tricky thing. We go through this spiritual work, trying to heal, grow and evolve and we go home to our family and fall back into the same patterns, arguments and leave feeling deflated…
Was all my work on being mindful, learning how to be peaceful and calm all a big fat waste of time?
We have this belief when we’ve embarked on our own spiritual journey, we should be able to be surrounded by challenging, negative or low-vibe people without getting angry, annoyed or pull our energy down.
I know I had this expectation but like Matt Kahn says “Why oh dear souls are you giving yourself homework nobody has assigned you?”
Here is a reality check. Our energy WILL get drained if we hang around negative, energy-draining people in large doses. I don’t care if you are Oprah Winfrey, Eckhart Tolle or the Dalai Lama himself.
We all have people in our family though we love but it’s better if we have small doses of them at a time. It’s better for our sanity, health, and energy.
As spiritual beings, we can only take certain doses of dense, low-level, negative energy before our energy starts to get drained.
Our personality, energy and dynamic with our family members are not going to always jive and we don’t have to force ourselves to be around them and constantly feel peaceful and blissed out.
We need to learn how to be aware when our energy is getting drained before we feel anxious, depleted or annoyed so we can get a positive boost of energy.
This is all about knowing our boundaries and limits and getting the necessary space when we need it.
With the holidays, I want to arm you with some mindfulness RESET’s to help you return to a calm, empowered and centered space after being around difficult family members.
RESET 1: GO OUTSIDE
I don’t care if it’s 21 degrees or below zero if being in a room with challenging family members for a prolonged period feels suffocating, some fresh air and being in an expansive environment is the best cure. I’ve known to step outside when things are getting to tense for me by saying I need to get something from my car, volunteer to go pick up something from a store or take the kids outside to play. Take some deep breaths, feel re-connected to mother earth and wipe away the energy from other people (literally) by wiping off your arms, legs, face and chest.
So the next time you feel claustrophobic being trapped in a home with someone who is tense or negative, step outside and let mother nature do its magic.
RESET 2: GO INTO THE BATHROOM
They don’t call it a RESTroom for no reason. If you need a quick getaway restrooms are the place to go without anyone asking any questions.
I use my time in the bathroom to re-charge my energy by doing some rapid shoulder shrugs and breathing.
As I breathe in I shrug my shoulders up towards my ears. As a breathe out through my nose I drop my shoulders down. I do this super rapidly linking my breath to the shoulder movement. It’s a great way to re-boost your energy, drop away any baggage that may be stuck on you.
RESET 3: TAKE SHOWERS TO WIPE AWAY THE NEGATIVE ENERGY
Water is symbolic of purity, cleansing and wiping away the old and starting new. When you are spending a few nights with family members, showers are a great time to connect with your soul, wipe away the negative, dense energy of others and re-connect to feeling centered.
Set the intention to wipe away the negative energy and become centered into your soul. It’s okay to take a few extra minutes in a warm shower to have some peace and quiet.
Don’t feel bad if you feel triggered by a family member. Like it’s said, our family knows the right buttons to push because they are the ones who installed the buttons. We all need space from the people who push our buttons. That’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength when we know how to set our limits and boundaries to replenish our own energy and peace of mind.
Now I want to hear from you.
Which Reset are you going to practice during the holidays when you’re around challenging family or friends? Set your intention out loud by writing it blow in the comments and we’ll help you stay accountable.
Wishing you so much love, peace, and calmness this holiday season.
xoxo
